Twisted Rose
by SarahRoseDL
Summary: After the sudden death of her fiancé, Bella finds comfort in the company of Edward's past. But, she can't find comfort in his death. She can't even accept his death. Is he really gone?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

I hate heels.

I hate this black dress.

It should be white.

It should be my wedding dress.

***

"Edward was such a great boy when he was younger…" A woman babbled on to me. I tried to pay attention, but who was I fooling? I hated this woman for talking about Edward in the past tense. Standing in the foyer of Esme and Carlisle Cullen was more arduous than you can imagine.

Edward grew up in this very home. We were going to bring our children here one day to play. I very much wanted that to still be true.

"Bella, dear," Esme said coming to my rescue. She linked her arm with mine, "I could use a hand in the kitchen."

She led me out of the room, into the kitchen and sat me down at the table.

"Thank you," I said.

She tried to smile, but couldn't. Neither of us could.

Carlisle came in the kitchen then. "The caterers are here. They want to know where to set up the tables."

Carlisle was the biggest help, ever. Neither Esme nor I could function after… and Carlisle was the one to make funeral arrangements even though there was no body. Esme and Carlisle's home was filled with old friends and colleagues of Edward.

"I guess we should go back," Esme said quietly.

"I'll go first," I said bravely. I stood up and straightened out my black dress and looked down at the black heels, again. I sighed, and walked back into the foyer. Jasper, Edward's best friend from forever, walked through the door with Emmett, Edward's brother. Both men looked stoic and were dressed well. Jasper saw me first; he ran a hand through his honey-blonde long hair and walked over. Emmett nodded towards me, but went straight to the kitchen.

Jasper hugged me. And I hugged him back. Because out of everyone in this room, he was the one who could understand my pain the best.

Tears were streaming down my face.

Jasper stuck by my side through the entire time. We didn't say much to one another, but he made sure no one said anything to upset me. I was so thankful Edward had such a kind friend.

But, Jasper couldn't protect me from everything.

Angela, my best friend, walked in the door with her husband, Ben. She was very pregnant. It reminded me of something I could never have without Edward.

I excused myself and walked up the stairs, past Esme who went to go distract everyone from noticing my absence. Even though I could never be related to her, she was still loving. Just like Edward.

I ran into Edward's old bedroom and into the bathroom he shared with Emmett when he was a kid.

I sat in the bathtub and shut the curtain.

I couldn't cry. No, I can't cry.

If I do, I won't stop.

Ever.

Think of good things, Bella. That I'm a twenty-four year old widow. No, not helping.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Then the door boomed open. I was about to speak up, but then I heard the heavy breathing.

"Do it now," a woman's voice pleaded, breathy.

"Hold on, hold on," I heard Emmett's voice.

Emmett?

God, I'm going to be sick.

"Harder," she said. I heard their breathing pick up. I tried blocking out everything, but it didn't work. I heard every last damn sound that came from them. How could Emmett do something like this at his brother's funeral? At Edward's funeral?

"Emmett, fuck…" A woman's voice said. There was silence for a moment and I could hear clothes being put back on.

The woman laughed then and said, "Do you have a pen?"

I assumed she wrote her number on his hand and then I heard her leave the room.

The sounds of the sink turned on and I chose that moment to stand up and open up the shower curtain.

My arms were crossed around my chest as I stood up.

"Bella," Emmett said, "shit. I…"

I put up a hand to stop him, "Don't speak, please. This is hard enough already… without having to be an observer to that."

"You should have made yourself known."

"Emmett, she was asking for you before you even got into the bathroom. How was I supposed to just pop out and say, 'Stop! This is my fian-…'" I stopped and sat down on the bathtub ledge and put my head in my hands. This was way more then I could handle.

"Aw, Bella." Emmett sat down next to me. He was about to put an arm around me, I shrugged it off.

"I'll be…" I said getting up. "Downstairs."

***

Later in the evening, I stood in front of the house that Edward and I bought a year ago.

It was classical. Esme is to thank for that. It was small, cozy. It had white pillars and a beautiful aura about it. Jasper had drove me here after the funeral. He was standing next to me looking at the house as well.

"I can't do this," I stated looking at my shoes yet again. Stupid, black heels.

"Good. Either can I," Jasper said and walked back to his car. I got in with him. It was already late and I couldn't ask to stay at the Cullen's home longer than I already had.

Jasper drove me back to his house and I stayed in his guest room.

***

It had been a month.

It was time for me to stop living at Jasper's house. It wasn't right. I was barely functioning and just taking up space in his home. He didn't need that.

I opened the door to my past.

I was bombarded by the number of flowers in the front room. They were for our wedding. White roses that were now black, with death. How funny.

I stepped around the flowers and walked into the kitchen. There were still two wine glasses on the kitchen counter, from the night before he…

God, this is hard.

I couldn't touch them. I walked into the living room. Edward's newspaper was on the coffee table.

I couldn't go into our bedroom. I don't know if I ever can.

I went back into the kitchen to check the phone messages. The first was from Angela, she was asking about dinner plans. This must be old. The next message was unexpected… it was from Edward…

_"Bella, pick up the phone. I know you're home," Edward's voice said. "I'll just talk until you do… So, how about we're getting married in two weeks? You better not chicken out on me... Why don't we elope?"_

_ I picked up the phone at that point and the answering machine recorded it. "Because your mother would kill us, Edward." _

_ "Ah, talking about our wedding gets you onto the phone. You must be excited?" _

_ "Ha ha."_

_ "How about for the honeymoon?"_

_ "Now that," I said, "I am excited about."_

_ "Young, naïve Bella. That is why I love you."_

_ "You're mean," I said lightly._

_ "I'll be home in ten, baby."_

_ "I'll be waiting, love." _

_ "Silly, silly Bella. I love you. Bye."_

And that was the end of our conversation. That was our last conversation. He didn't come home in ten minutes.

I re-listened to that recording twenty-nine times before I fell asleep on the couch.

***


	2. Chapter 2

"Time is the only thief we can't get justice against."

---Astrid Alauda

***

**Chapter 2**

The days and weeks and months passed. I didn't do anything of consequence. I just went through the routine. Occasionally people would tell me they were sorry and I would answer back appropriately.

I didn't speak to Carlisle or Esme or Emmett. They reminded me too much of Edward.

Jasper was basically living at my house. He was making sure I was eating.

Angela would come over periodically, but she just had the new baby… and when she realized how hard it was for me to even look at a baby, she stopped bringing the child. So, it was harder for her to get here.

I walked through the front door and when I got into the family room, Jasper was in there eating Chinese food… with Emmett.

"Hey," Jasper said holding a fork out to me. I grabbed it and sat down next to him and shared some food.

"You're doing worse," Emmett stated.

"Em –" Jasper warned.

"No, she should know –" Emmett began. "You need to start living again, Bella. Edward wouldn't want you in this house sleeping on the couch because you're afraid to go into the bedroom. You're just killing yourself."

"I know that," I defended. "But, I miss him. It hasn't even been that long…"

"It's been half a year!" Emmett screamed. Wow, I hadn't realized…

"You don't even act like you miss him," I said softly.

"Of course we miss him," Jasper said softly.

"But, we live!" Emmett screamed.

"Like having sex in the bathroom at his funeral?" I asked Emmett. "Don't expect me to do that for the sake of re-living."

"You what?" Jasper asked popping out of his seat.

Emmett shrugged. "It wasn't like that."

"Sure," I replied.

"This is ridiculous," Emmett yelled into the air. "You're living like a fucking zombie."

"I can't help it."

"You should go see Esme," Jasper suggested. "She's doing better now. She could help you…"

"… I can't. I just… can't."

"Why, Bella?" Jasper asked.

And then I felt guilty. They wanted me to heal.

I could never heal. Someone never heals from losing the love of their life. It just doesn't work. I can go to work, live in this house, never step in the bedroom, listen to his voice before sleeping, but don't expect anything great from me. It's not going to happen. Not anymore.

"I'm sorry," I said on the verge of tears.

"It's been…" Emmett began.

"– six months, we get it," Jasper cut in. "Give her a break."

***

"Bella," Jasper said poking at my side, "there's someone on the phone for you."

I was sprawled out on the couch with a blanket wrapped around me. I glared at Jasper for a moment, he ruined my sleep.

"It's Esme," he whispered.

The scowl on my face faded and I immediately grabbed the phone from Jasper.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Bella, dear, I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep and call me back later."

"Oh, no, Esme, it's fine. I'm awake. I shouldn't be sleeping my Saturday away. I have work to do."

"I just wanted to let you know there's a meeting with Edward's lawyer about his will on Monday. It's scheduled for seven at night. Does that work for you?"

"Of course," I said. I sat up now. "Thanks for calling."

"No problem, dear. I'll see you then. Maybe we can have dinner?"

"I don't know… I might have work to do," I said. The thought of sitting with someone who was so similar to Edward was mind bafflingly hurtful.

"Alright, I'll see you there. Tell the boys I say 'hi'."

"Will do," I said. "Bye."

I hung the phone up and squeezed my eyes shut, just thinking. Emmett and Jasper were still present in this house.

"You alright?" Emmett asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

I sighed, "I'm fine."

I felt pathetic.

"Of course you are," Emmett replied. He still hadn't given up on trying to make me re-live again.

"Cut her some slack," Jasper defended, handing me a cup of coffee. "She's been falling asleep without those pills."

"Now only if we can get her into a bed…" Emmett mused.

"Hey," I said. "I'm still in the room."

"We know," Emmett said. "You need to hear all of this."

I rolled my eyes.

"There, look!" Emmett sang. "She rolled her eyes at me. That's showing emotion!"

"Chill," Jasper said. "You're freaking her out."

"No, I'm not," Emmett argued. "Just annoying as hell, right?"

I cringed at the mention of some sort of afterlife like hell, but otherwise his banter was annoying.

"Let's go out!" Emmett proclaimed. "I'm buying!"

"No, no," I argued. "It's Saturday. Can't we just stay in?"

"You've been staying in everyday of the year."

"And we can keep it that way."

"No, let's…"

"Come on," Jasper interjected and I thought he was going to side with me like usual. "You should go out. Just this once."

"Jasper!" I whined.

"Maybe we can get you laid and then you'll be less cranky," Emmett said.

"If that's your plans for me, then it won't work."

"We just want you to go out," Jasper said.

"Don't expect me to talk to anyone," I said.

"We're going out!" Emmett proclaimed.

***

We arrived at the restaurant/ bar later in the night.

It was loud and rowdy. Someone spilt something on me within minutes.

I sat in a booth in the corner while Jasper and Emmett went to socialize.

"What are you doing here all alone?" An overly friendly voice asked.

He had spiky blonde hair and a puppy-dog face. He sat down without invitation.

I already wanted to kick him.

"Um," I said uncomfortable. "My friends are picking up girls."

"Well, they should be looking in front of them!"

"Er," I said. Then lied, "Well, one's my brother-in-law and the other was the best-man at my wedding."

"Married, huh?" He asked and I noticed him stop flirting and stop winking. Good boy.

"Yep," I flashed my engagement ring at him. I had totally forgotten about it.

"I was married once," He said. "It didn't last long, though."

"Oh," I said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, she had a thing for the gardener and hair the size of her ego."

"Well, that's awful."

"Nah," he waved a hand. "She's probably at the gardener's parents' home. He's eighteen. Did I mention that? And she's pregnant with his child."

"Karma really got her," I replied.

"Yeah, I guess that's about right."

"You should really look for someone with sleek hair."

"I just tried," he said pointing at me.

"Oh."

"Well, no matter. I'm Mike."

I shook his hand, "I'm Bella. And if you're looking for a future wife, you shouldn't be looking in a bar…"

"Ah, but you see… I was trying to go for the opposite of where I met my ex."

"Which was?"

"At a church."

I choked on my wine. "Really?"

Emmett made that time to make an appearance. "Bella! Tell me, who is this?"

"This is Mike," I said. "Mike, this is Emmett."

"The brother-in-law or best-man?" Mike asked.

"Brother-in-law," I replied while Emmett scowled.

***

"This is just getting creepy," Emmett replied. All of us were sitting in his big jeep as he drove us all to my house.

"What'd you expect me to do?" I asked.

"Be normal!" Emmett shouted.

"I am normal."

"We just want you to try and –" Jasper began.

"You guys act like I lost my puppy. Newsflash, I didn't! I lost the effing love of my life! He was your brother!" I pointed at Emmett. "And your best friend! You two don't even miss him!"

"Don't ever say that," Emmett growled.

"Why are you doing this then?" I asked.

"Edward would've wanted us to help," Jasper said. "Emmett and I just agreed that…"

"You two have talked about this?" I asked, bewildered.

"Well…" Jasper began.

"Hell, yes. We've talked about this." Emmett wasn't apologetic.

"Let me out of the car!" I screamed.

"What?" Emmett asked.

"Let me out!" I hadn't shown much emotion lately. This was probably my breaking point.

"No, you're crazy," Emmett said.

"No, I'm grieving. Let me out!" I yelled.

"Bella, calm down. Please," Jasper said. He turned around in the passenger seat to face me.

"I can't take this! I can't be babied like this."

Emmett pulled over to the side of the road. I hopped out and walked for the next twenty minutes home.

Jasper and Emmett were waiting in the kitchen for me when I got home.

***

On Monday, after work, I went directly to Edward's attorney's office.

I was directed into an office and I took a seat in an uncomfortable black chair and stared across the desk at the empty, comfy black chair.

"Bella?" I heard Esme's voice from the doorway.

I turned and saw Esme in a white suit with Carlisle by her side.

"Oh, hi," I replied.

They took seats next to me and Esme put her hand out onto mine, "Are you doing alright, dear?"

I nodded my head.

"Please go out after this with me. We haven't had any time together since… a long time," Esme said.

"That's so nice," I replied. "But, I can't… I have work to do." I was lying, but only because Esme reminded me of Edward. Much more than Carlisle or Emmett.

"Bella, please," Esme said. And I saw the look of desperation in her eyes that clouded the sadness for a moment.

"Sure," I said. And then a butch looking man walked in and shook all of our hands.

"I'm Tyler Crowley," he said. "I would have met with you all earlier, but things have been backed up here… Anyway, let's get to it."

He pulled out a few folders.

"Now, Edward wasn't married. Was he?"

"No," I replied as Esme said, "Yes."

"Uh," Tyler said.

Carlisle intervened, "He was to be married to Bella the week after his death."

"Oh. Right." Tyler looked at his folders. "Edward's will states that all of his things will go to an Isabella Swan."

"That'd be me," I replied.

"Okay," Tyler said. "But, if there is no legal bonding, such as marriage or brother-sister, then we like to have meetings with the related in order to ensure the wishes of the deceased are granted."

"We appreciate that," Esme said.

"Well, I have a list here," Tyler began, "of all Mr. Cullen's possessions that will go to Isabella."

He handed each of us a paper. I looked down at it.

_Volvo._

_ Bank Account. _

And a list of personal possessions. I didn't want any of that if only I could have him.

"Does that look about right?" Tyler asked.

"Yes," Esme said.

"Um," I said, "If you guys want something of Edward's…"

"No, dear," Esme said. "Edward would've wanted you to have it."

"Could you… excuse me?" I asked getting up and going to the bathroom.

After being in the bathroom for awhile I heard Esme's heels.

She handed me a tissue. "Come on, darling." She linked her arm with me and led me out of the vile office. We ended up at a generic restaurant.

"Where'd Carlisle go?" I asked lamely.

"He's been working a lot lately," Esme said.

"Oh."  
"It's his way of coping."

"Yeah," I said as I took a sip of the coffee in front of me.

"So," Esme said. "Can you believe Emmett's stayed in town this long?"

"No," I said. "I didn't even know him that well before."

"If only we could find him a girl like you," Esme smiled.

"Uh huh," I said. I kept getting reminded that I wouldn't be a part of her family. "Esme," I began, "The engagement ring. Edward told me it was in your family for six generations… I can't possibly keep it."

I stared down at the ring. I loved it so much.

"Emmett still has the chance of giving this ring to someone and…"

Esme raised a perfectly manicured hand, "Bella, no one is asking for your ring back. That's your memory of Edward."

***

**The next chapter is a flashback of the proposal. Just the proposal, though. So, it's short. **


End file.
